I Want to be in Love

I want to be in love

I want to gaze into another’s eyes and know exactly what they are thinking

To see a look in those eyes as if I am the only one who matters to them.

I want to find someone and then be unable to imagine life without them

Have them tell me I am the only one for them, that I complete them and feel the same way too.

I want someone who I can say I will go to the end of the world for

Who could easily crush my entire world in a matter of moments with just a few words,

But won’t.

Because we are in love.

I want to be inspired to write songs.

I want to write cheesy love songs that are timeless and people get sick of hearing,

But love them all the same because they were written at the peak of love

And express exactly how they want to feel for another.

A feeling that not even words can express

A feeling that one only knows once they have felt it,

And forget its true feeling once it’s gone

So they need to be reminded by songs and poetry

By our songs.

I want to have inside jokes

Jokes that only we know, and only we can truly laugh at

Jokes that others couldn’t understand even if we explained

But they will join in the laughter because they want to be a part of it too

Because they want to feel our happiness and share our moments with us

Because they seem to be the happiest moments

Because we seem to be the happiest two people around

Laughing at our jokes

I want to be skinny.

I want not another calorie to ever pass these lips again

I want to work out for hours and hours until I feel as though I can go on no more,

And then continue on

I want it so bad I will throw up after my parents make me eat

I will become angry at them; yell at them, when they don’t understand

When they worry.

Because they say I’m beautiful no matter what,

Even when I feel hideous.

Disgusting.

Because there is no way to hide my hips or stomach without pinching, or hurting

Because I don’t look like those girls on the T.V. or in the magazines

And I am conditioned to think they are how all girls are supposed to look.

And I just want to feel sexy once in a while.

But how can I when I can’t fit into those cute jeans or that top

When I’m a size 8 instead of a size 2.

I want to be beautiful

I want to have flawless skin and perfect hair.

To have mothers hope their daughters will look like me and the little girls to hope so as well

I want other girls to be jealous of my beauty, envious; yearn to look like me,

Wonder why they can’t look more like me

And boys to drool over it

Dream about me at night, then be ashamed when they see me

Have them all speechless when I approach them, nervous to be around me

I want all the boys to want me, but I only want one

I want to be compared to actresses, super models, singers, and goddesses

Told by others that I am the most beautiful girl they have ever seen

I want to be young forever

I want to party every night, all night with friends

And wake up in the morning and not remember parts of last night

But that will be OK because I have no where I need to be

No responsibilities, no obligations

I want to dance

Dance with friends, dance with strangers, dance with anyone who wants to dance

Because on a dance floor, we are all friends, we are all family

We are all there for the same purpose

To be free of everything and forget who we are for a while

And we can be whoever we want to be

But most importantly

Above everything else I want to be,

Something I am willing to give up everything else for

For this is the most important thing of all

And the one probably most forgotten

And often least desired

I want to be me.